Emani's Workout Report: Nada! Title: Financial Provider     I posted this question on my sister's and I poetry site and thought it would be interesting to hear what you all think!   Now, ladies and gentlemen....for the ladies...do you think that a Dude you are dating (seriously) should pay your bills or at least minimize them? And fellows, do you think that you should do something like this (the whole independent thing has gone too far?)...or HELL NO!

Would you leave a man who didn't? And would you leave a girl who expected it?   Just dating someone...hell naw!  That is being lazy and greedy. But  I think that a woman who is married should be able to take care of the children full time, so we can stop letting these streets raise our children and get them some home training..full time home training...
I think it would be ideal for me to be able to have a part time job during the day while the kids are at school and home before they get there so she can make an after school snack...That is her contribution. RAISING THE CHILDREN AND MAINTAINING THE FAMILY. But her part time job is for her to save. Because she doesn't have to spend money from her own check she can save so when the family is in an emergency situation she can provide the emergency money. Not so she can buy new shoes all the damn time and have a box full of different color eyeshadows or anything, but so she can have his and their back when time comes. God knows he might not be able to save. Or she can put her money towards the college funds for the kids. Something.

But me...I want to be that mom. Ya know? That real mom. Like the old school days. After school snacks....dinner....dishes...clean house...clean clothes...gardening...just being a woman....like I said...
I DREAM IN PINK. JMO.

Wow, what an interesting question. Funny we are both writing about women and society, etc. I think that if you believe that men are the head of every woman and should take care of house and home then he SHOULD pay all the bills and take care of the woman. But if you believe in a more egalitarian society then I think those things should be pretty equal, both in the raising of the kids and paying of the bills and the general equality of life thing, not having such strict, gender roles. Just my $0.02
BTW:My hair isn't shedding as much but I don't agree with the docs so next week I'm getting a 2nd opinion.
Have a great day chica!
XOXO

Nah, I don't think dude SHOULD pay my bills just because we're together. In my last relationship we would let each borrow money but it was understood that it was to be repaid.

Now, if times were rough, I think one should offer to help the other out. It all just depends I guess.

If they are married, it depends on the family values. Some men prefer a housewife, but if she wants more than the basics, get a job! If you have kids, both parents should arrange scheds so that a parent can do an early shift (drop off at school) and a late shift (pick up from school and help with homework. Grandparents, neighbors and family should help too if possible. It takes planning. Now if we are dating, if we don't live together, your bills are your bills and my bills are mine! The last thing I need is to give a man leverage. You wanted the Coach Bag and since it's not your birthday, pay for it yourself!

I believe that when I get married, I would like to be in a position where I could take care of the family and my wife could stay at home. I would not be opposed to my wife working if she really wanted to. But I believe that as a union, those two people are supposed to work as a TEAM. If they decide together that the man is going to work and the wife stay at home and raise the kids and handle all the behind the scenes things at home, so be it. I will be supportive of my wife in whatever decision we make. But as I said before, I am somewhat of a traditionalist and I do believe the man should be the provider and the woman should be at home being the back bone of the family.

A relationship is a joint effort. Give and Receive... BUT... I believe a man should have the capability to pay all the bills if necessary. Just b/c I got my own, doesn't mean I don't need the security that comes from knowing that if I really need my man/husband financially he can carry the load. In other words, a man should always be prepared to take the lead financially, spiritually and otherwise. If he is in a situation where their are two GOOD incomes.. take it as a blessing!o:) Not to sound contradictory, but if the man loses his job etc.. and the woman is working.. I think a REAL woman won't mind taking care of the bills (if married) until the man gets back on his feet. But he better DARN well be making strong steps to getting back on his feet..LOL Peace and Blessings DK:)

Hmmmmm... well i'd be down with different dynamics. i think it would be harder for me to stomach if i were the sole financial provider tho. even IF the hubby was at home taking care of the kids. but i could live with that. ideally i'd like the situation to be where both of us work, but i'm doing some at home stuff (ie hair, selling paintings, something creative but lucrative) and out there doing the dang thang. i'd be totally cool with both of us running a family business as well. personally i'd still want to be very involved in my children's lives as well as the hubby. lawd did i say children??? i mean CHILD,yall, only on CHILD. mayne it's to early in the morning to be answering this question. lol. maybe i'll touch on it in a future journal entry.